Guest post by The Relationship Project’s Jake & Taylor Aller.
At The Relationship Project, we are all about showing behind the scenes in REAL-ationships. That means all of the non-highlight-reel stuff like doing the dishes, balancing work and love, and fart wars. But when it comes to your wedding day, that highlight reel is in full swing. And, in our opinion, it should be—but only if it’s the sprinkles to your well-made cupcake.
Wait, what? Let’s rewind a little bit.
We like to look at relationships like cupcakes. (‘Cause who doesn’t like cupcakes?) If those highlight reel moments are our sprinkles, the foundation of the relationship is the cake. See where we’re going?
Now, you’re probably wondering, why is this important? (And thinking about how a cupcake sounds delicious right now!)
Well, it’s important for a few key reasons. Our relationship cupcakes need to be crafted from quality ingredients to really allow those sprinkles to shine. Because if it’s a crappy cupcake, no amount of colourful sprinkles will make that taste good.
This means, if we want our wedding day to be a colourful and tasty addition, we need to make our relationship cupcake just as delicious. We encourage you to focus on the batter of that relationship cupcake way more than the sprinkles.
Here’s our list of ingredients, if you will, that really make those relationship cupcakes delicious from the inside out.
1. Solid Love Expression
It can’t be recommended enough to learn each other’s love languages and how you each preferred to be loved up. Keeping those love-tanks full is crucial in keeping satisfaction and affection high. You can learn more about those love languages here. (Trust us it’s worth it!)
Trust is such a finicky thing. It seems to be this huge and monumental quality when in actuality, trust is built in very small moments. Find those moments where you can check in on your partner, keep their confidence, be reliable, and hold boundaries. A quote we heard once that impacted us greatly was, “In those small moments when the option to trust is offered, should we choose to look away, turns into a moment of betrayal, no matter how small.” (Whoa, right?)
3. Appreciation and Gratitude
Whew. If we could make one ingredient possess the most longevity in our relationship cupcake it would be this one. We all know that feeling of being taken for granted, or being taken advantage of, or even worse, being overlooked. This ingredient of appreciation and gratitude is our exact antidote to those feelings. And the best part, we can express them over almost anything!
(And no we aren’t talking money!) At the beginning of a relationship we are riding the sugar high. Without question, we give our partners the benefit of the doubt, the most generous assumption and forgiveness possible. But when we look later on down the relationship road, that sugar high starts to wear off and resentment, scarcity and frustration can creep in. Now, I don’t know about you, but we don’t want any of those in our relationship cupcakes. So, it’s crucial to consciously extend that generosity to our partners, to give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible and have them do the same in return, especially when we are inclined to be stingy. No one wants a stingy cupcake, right?
It’s so important to have this ingredient in our relationship cupcake because, as humans, we are dynamic and ever-changing. That means that we ebb and flow and change our minds often. And when it comes to a lasting relationship, we need to be conscious of those choices we make. We need to intentionally choose our partner, our marriage, everyday. Love is a choice and, just like trust, is built in those small moments. Choose love.
There you have it guys, our behind the scenes look into the top 5 ingredients for a delicious, whole, relationship cupcake.
Let’s look look at our wedding day as a beautiful array of colourful sprinkles that make our relationship cupcake beautiful and celebratory. Awesome, right? But what’s even more awesome is when that cupcake tastes even better than it looks. And not to worry guys, it doesn’t have to be perfect because perfect isn’t real, and real isn’t perfect—we don’t know about you, but we would choose a REAL-ationship every time.
Guest blogger bio:
Mr & Mrs Aller, known by their friends as Jake and Taylor, are a Vancouver based power couple. Equally as cool and optimistic, they’re known to spark a light in the world. People recognize something special about them that goes beyond a normal relationship. Together, they encourage goodness in the world and make it a better place. They believe in marriage and think relationships are delicious–a lot of work–but so very worth it. Their passion for relationships expanded into a blog called The Relationship Project and hosting events around Canada.
The Relationship Project is opening doors behind the scenes into what successful relationships practice. Exposing mistakes and triumphs, and personally sharing how they’re growing and learning together–and how you can, too.
Because, let’s be real.
Relationships are beautiful and messy. It’s time we see (and share!) it all.