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WATCH: Should You Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

WATCH: Should You Write Your Own Wedding Vows?
August 17, 2022 Riana Ang-Canning

Should you write your own wedding vows? If you’re on the fence about writing personal vows for your wedding day, listen as Officiant Shawn Miller walks you through the pros and cons.

Video transcript: 

Should you write personalized wedding vows? If you are getting married, chances are you know you have to say some vows. But what do you say? Can you say your own vows? Do you have to include anything specific?

While some of those questions will depend on where you are getting married, in my opinion, I highly recommend writing your own vows to your partner. Vows that express your love for them, why you’re getting married and everything you appreciate about them.

Why are you choosing to spend your life with this person? There’s nothing quite like hearing the answer to that question from your partner, especially on your wedding day!

But if the thought of including your vows in your ceremony terrifies you – if the thought of standing in front of hundreds of your friends and family while you pour your heart out gives you anxiety – you don’t have to share your vows in front of all of your guests.

should you write your own wedding vows, young hip and married

by Erica Miller Photography

A lot of my couples will write personal vows for each other but instead of sharing them at their ceremony, maybe they’ll write them in a letter and share those letters with each other the morning of their wedding. Or maybe they will share their wedding vows during their first look in a beautiful, private and intimate setting. If you choose to share your vows in private, then your officiant can include something a little bit more generic during your wedding ceremony.

But regardless of how or where you’re getting married – whether it’s a big wedding or an elopement – I strongly encourage you to write your own wedding vows. It’s an amazing process!


We have loads of resources about wedding vows below, including a course I wrote on how to write wedding vows. The course takes 60-90 minutes and walks you through all of those steps to writing your own vows. It’s a beautiful process and your vows are something you get to keep for the rest of your lives.

So in my opinion: write personalized wedding vows! I highly recommend it. Of all the things you could include in your wedding ceremony or on your wedding day, personal vows are at the top of my list.

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by Erica Miller Photography