Wedding planning can be a very stressful time. You probably didn’t need us to tell you that.
Wedding planning can often feel like a second full time job that no one is paying you to do. There are so many more details and decisions than you realized. Plus, weddings combine two things that are often inherently stressful: finances and family. Wedding planning can make even the most calm person go a little batty.
But it’s important to take time to destress during your wedding planning so you don’t lose yourself in a ball of tulle and taffeta, a fury of charger plates or endless iterations of the seating chart. Here are 10 awesome ways you can destress and make wedding planning a little easier on yourself.
Set Aside Specific Wedding Planning Time
With your partner, sit down and agree on a specific time every week/month that will be designated Wedding Planning Time. That way, you ensure that you both have time in your calendars to focus on the wedding together, instead of leaving it all to one person. By scheduling time, you also allow both parties to come to the table ready to focus on the wedding. This gives you permission to focus on non-wedding stuff outside of this specified time. As you get closer to your wedding, you can ramp up the frequency of your Wedding Planning Time meetings.
Talk About Non-Wedding Stuff
Are all of your conversations about tux fittings, cocktail hour playlists and makeup trials? That’s enough to stress anyone out. It’s time to take a break. Just like you’ve set up specific Wedding Planning Time, it’s important to carve out Non-Wedding Planning Time. Make a pact with your partner to have a conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with weddings. This could be a weekly coffee date or a chat over dinner every night. It’s also a good idea to have non-wedding conversations with your friends and family too. Odds are they are also sick of wedding talk and would welcome a new topic of conversation.
Speak to Your Partner
You’ll want to bring your partner into the loop before they come home to find you in tears and hanging up on the fifteenth caterer you’ve had to call that day. Sit your partner down and explain how you’re feeling about the wedding planning process. Share with them how you want to be feeling and how they can help you get there. If you’re able to say exactly what you need from your partner, such as help calling and researching vendors, you can work towards a low-stress solution for both of you.
Make a Pump Up Playlist
Or a calm and meditative playlist. Or a feel good cry session playlist. Or a playlist of your favorite podcast episodes. Basically, unplug from your wedding stress and plug into some of your favourite sounds. Whether you need to dance it out, have a good cry or get distracted, your playlist can get you where you want to be – away from wedding planning stress!
When you need to destress, it often helps to get out of your head and focus on your physical body. You may not have realized that during that stressful phone call with your venue coordinator your shoulders were tense, your hands were clenched and you managed to polish off a box of cookies. We all know that exercise is a great way to boost our mood and fight back against stress. Get in touch with your physical side by going for a run, dropping into a dance class, hitting up the gym, going through a yoga video on YouTube, stretching at your desk or even taking a well deserved nap.
Create a Safe Word
Here we’re talking about a safe word that you use outside of the bedroom. This safe word is specific to wedding planning. With your partner, come up with a word that is going to mean “time out” and “get me outta here!” That way, when your partner’s grandmother swoops in with questions about the group of friends she is planning to bring to the wedding as her plus six, you can subtly whisper to your fiance, “Spaghetti…” and they’ll know to quickly distract their grandmother with a platter of appetizers. Or when you and your boo are getting into your tenth consecutive argument over centerpiece arrangements, you can call out, “Spaghetti!” and take a break before things get out of hand.
Self-care is all about indulging in something that is just for you. This is going to look different for different people but here are some ideas to help you destress. Crack open a bottle of wine, run a warm tub with scented bath salts, finally click purchase on that item that has been sitting in your online shopping cart for weeks, put on Netflix, bake, play videogames, go to a sports game, buy fresh flowers, light candles or do whatever you want to do that will make you feel good. Treat yo’ self!
Sometimes when we’re stressed, we just need to vent and let it all out. So call up your best friend, your mom or find a friendly online community and let all of your stress out. It can help to share your burden with others and know that other people have gone through it too. Of course, be prepared to receive advice when you bring your problems to someone else. If you’re looking for advice and an outsider’s perspective, awesome. If not, make sure you tell your audience that you only want to vent and that you want them to listen, not advise.
Keep Up Your Pre-Wedding Hobbies
Do you love organizing the office fantasy football league? Play on a softball team or take salsa lessons once a week? Love reading mystery novels on Sunday mornings followed by a yoga class with your best friends? Awesome! Don’t give up any of those things. You don’t have to quit your real life just because you’re planning a wedding. Sure, you’re going to be busier. You might have to delegate the fantasy football draft to one of your co-workers but you should totally still be involved. It’s important to keep up the hobbies and activities you loved pre-wedding so you remember that there’s more to your amazing life than just your upcoming nuptials.
Remember: Marriage > Wedding
At the end of your wedding day, if you go home with a new spouse, you’ve done your job. No one is going to notice or care if the napkins don’t match the chair covers, if Uncle Bill wore jeans to your semi-formal affair or if you had to trade out white roses for pink ones. Your guests will be much too excited to celebrate you and your spouse, and your new life together to worry about any of the details. So you don’t need to worry either. Ask yourself if you cared about napkin colours before you started planning a wedding – probably not. Which means you likely aren’t going to care about napkin colours after your wedding either.
When you get stressed, remember that your only job on your wedding day is to marry the love of your life. That’s it! There is no right way to have a wedding. If you’re feeling pressure to do things because tradition says so or your cousin did it this way – stop. This is your wedding, your way. Focus on the details that matter to you and forget about the rest.
And above all, focus on the marriage. That’s the whole point of a wedding anyway, right? If something is causing you stress, ask yourself if it is going to impact your marriage. Odds are it probably is not. If you continue to center your wedding on its purpose, your marriage, you’ll be investing in more than just an awesome party – you’ll be investing in an awesome lifetime with the love of your life. And suddenly, all the minor details and stresses won’t seem so important.
written by Riana Ang-Canning
How do you keep calm and carry on with the wedding planning when you’re feeling stressed?